Product Liability Exposures

For quite some time, Sunshine Cheez-It had an interesting graphic on the side of their box. The photo shows a single cracker with the title Anatomy Of A Cheez-It. The list of features include:

• No-Slip Grip - Helps you grab more Cheez-It Crackers in every handful.
• Air Intake - Improves aerodynamics during periods of Cheez-It Crackers consumption.
• Surface Dynamics - Bumpy, crispy, crunchy, utterly satisfying.

Serious claims, huh? Well, I guess the Sunshine Biscuits company lawyers weren't quite comfortable with putting out such statements without a bunch of disclaimers, and there are three of them:

• Under Anatomy Of A Cheez-It, it says, "(But Don't Believe It!)"
• Under the photo of the cracker, it says, "Not actual size". (Incidentally, I held up one of the BIG Cheez-It crackers to the photo, and it was EXACTLY that size.)
• And most insulting, on the bottom it says, "These qualities make Cheez-It Crackers fun, but do not suggest any serious product performance claims.

Hello, Sunshine Biscuits lawyers? You just sucked all the fun out of your cracker. "Serious product performance claims"?!? Are they kidding me? What, do they think Consumer Reports brought out all their high-tech cracker testing equipment to check Sunshine's No-Slip Grip, Air Intake, and Surface Dynamics?

Got any new product liability disclaimers you enjoyed?

(UPDATE: well, apparently those lawyers were fired. Now the box shows a HUGE wedge of cheese with a sign that says Actual Taste next to a teensy Cheez-It cracker that says Actual Size. No disclaimers! Way to go, Sunshine!)

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