Sardonic nit witticism

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Location: Fort Myers, Florida, United States

People tell me that my sarcasm and cynicism will get me into trouble some day. We'll see.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

No Parking

It never fails to amaze me watching cars roving up and down the aisles in the parking lot looking for that one space a few feet closer to the doors of the shopping mall.

Worse, some will actually stop their car, blocking traffic, and wait for somebody to pull out so they can pull in.

And it's not like they are trying to avoid walking in the snow, ice, or cold - I live in the South, for cryin' out loud.

I wish that somebody would tell me the logic of driving all over the parking lot for a closer spot, and then spending the next forty-five minutes circumnavigating a shopping mall, (twice if it's two levels,) or a half hour going up and down the aisles in the supermarket, ALL ON FOOT.

And at the supermarket, it's not like you have to carry your bags a long way - the cart's on wheels!

At the Mall

At a local shopping mall we frequent, I have discovered a secret little "patch" of parking spaces that are usually available. It rarely fails that there are at least twelve adjoining spaces when I arrive. Even at Christmas time there are at least six spaces scattered about in my secret spot. And it's not all that far from the entrance to a major anchor store in the mall - a relatively short walk, and certainly a mere fraction of the commute we will make on our shopping spree.

However, it never fails that we see the same cars roaming around looking for a spot as we enter the parking lot, and walk past the same cars looming and waiting as we leave our parked car and enter the complex. What are they hoping to gain? Just once I am waiting for the time when they are still searching as we leave the mall to return to our "patch."

While Walking

I take a brisk walk a few times a day at work. Part of my journey passes alongside a large parking lot. It seems a regular occurrence that as I am walking, I will hear a car slowly following me, as if to be waiting for me to get into my car to free a spot. As it becomes apparent that I am not approaching any cars, or when I just get too far from the building, they will race off in a huff, as if to punish me for wasting their time.

"Hello, people. I am WALKING here."

Folks, park where you can find a spot and walk a little farther. From what I have seen of some of you, you could use the workout.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Free BlackBerry!

Did that get your attention?

No, I am not planning on giving away a free BlackBerry, or anything else for that matter, other than my opinion. But if it will make you feel any better, you can interpret the title as you would "Free Mandela!" (or for those born after 1990, "Free Willy!") In other words, Set the BlackBerry Free.

What do I have against the BlackBerry? Nothing. If it is that critical to you and your business to have a teeny tiny screen and an eensy weensy keyboard just so you can send wireless e-mails or otherwise communicate with your colleagues while you sit on the ... er ... train, then by all means go for it.

What I fear, though, is that we may be getting just a LITTLE too attached to our devices.

It wasn't ten years ago that you saw just a few people doing the cell phone dance, (swaying round'n'round and bobbing up'n'down seeking the best signal.) Today, you cannot walk down any city street without finding every sixth or seventh person connected to their telephones.

Is that a problem? Today's young businesspersons do not think so.

College grads weaned on the wireless laptop, cell phone, (including 2-way voice, text messaging, etc,) and now the BlackBerry, are telling potential employers that they expect to continue to use their devices in the workplace. Seasoned employees may shudder at such a suggestion and wish them good luck on that venture.

But the employers are listening. Corporate memos are going out to managers telling them to heed the requests of these incoming graduates or risk falling behind to the competition who will give them such access. After all, unless you've been living under a rock, you know that there is a shortage of techies coming. Big Tech will be hurting for tech-savvy people and the only ones available to fit the bill to replace retiring baby boomers will be today's whiz-bang kids wielding the BlackBerry.

Just so they don't expect me to follow suit. My VCR is still flashing 12:00 - 12:00 - 12:00.