Sardonic nit witticism

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Location: Fort Myers, Florida, United States

People tell me that my sarcasm and cynicism will get me into trouble some day. We'll see.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Water Usage Priorities in Cary, NC

Cary has 'weird' water mix-up

Toby Coleman, Staff Writer
CARY - The bitter water pouring from Vinay Jain's tap was a water conservation measure gone foul.

For nearly five months, the Jain family home in Cary has been connected to the town's reclaimed-water system. That is the treated wastewater the town considers clean enough for suburban lawns but not good enough to drink.


By Tuesday afternoon, Public Works head Mike Bajorek seemed confident that the Jains were the only ones in Cary with treated wastewater coming out of their taps and drinking water coming out of their sprinklers.

Wastewater from the kitchen spigot and drinking water from the lawn sprinklers. Only in Cary, NC.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

What'samatta? Can't Take an Apology?

What's with some people? I tried to apologize to a person the other day for something that was clearly my fault.

This person refused to accept my apology. In fact, she seemed more intent on apologizing herself for having put me in the position to need to apologize.

And yesterday. I see these two women talking. As I approach, I learn that one is offering some sort of apology. The other is waving her hands and shaking her head, saying, "No, no. It is MY fault."

Can someone please explain this behavior? I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Non-brunette nor Redhead

Did you hear about the non-brunette nor redhead who, after being shown ultrasound photographs of her unborn child, claimed that they must be showing her the wrong photos?

"What makes you think this is not your child?" asked a nurse.

"Well LOOK at them!" she cried, "This child is black!"

Seven seven seven

Today's newspaper showed a photo of a long line of couples waiting yesterday at a Las Vegas marriage bureau with hopes to get a license to wed today, the seventh day of the seventh month of 2007.

I couldn't help but to imagine how couples joining the end of that line may have learned more about their compatibility and their potential future together than any previous experience prior to 07/07/07.

Boy: Would you LOOK at that line!

Girl: My, my!

Boy: What do you think?

Girl: What do you MEAN what do I think??

Boy: Well, do you want to wait in it?

Girl: And why WOULDN'T I want to wait in it?

Boy: I'm just sayin', it's a really long line ...

Girl: Yes, and the problem with that would beeeeeee ...

Boy: It'll take forever to get through this, and we have tickets to see the fight tonight.

Girl: Oh, you're gonna see a fight tonight.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Scratch to Win

I'm sure you've seen these silver-grey spots on advertising flyers, such as this one in today's Sunday paper.

You scratch off the paint, and presumably there is a potential to win big.

Trouble is, the chances of winning anything of significance depends on how much you paid to play. If you paid anything for the scratchoff, chances are you'll win nothing. If you paid nothing for the scratchoff, chances are you'll be led to believe you've won big, but in fact it's just a scam to get you to do something else.

I didn't bother scratching this spot.

If "scratch to win" were to become true, there are a bunch of women out there who would suddenly have great husbands.