Sardonic nit witticism

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Location: Fort Myers, Florida, United States

People tell me that my sarcasm and cynicism will get me into trouble some day. We'll see.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The World is Going to the Deadly Weapons

The other day we had an article in our local paper describing how prosecutors are charging the owner of a pair of pit bulls "with assault with a deadly weapon inflicting serious injury, a felony, for failing to properly confine the dogs" after his pups mauled a neighborhood child.

According to an article in,

Courts across the country have declared pit bulls as "lethal weapons." Police officers have the right to shoot and kill when under threat or when protecting citizens. Examples of officers shooting pit bulls are a daily occurrence in the news. They are often quoted as saying, "The taser did not stop the dog. I had to use my gun."

Excuse me? A dog is a deadly weapon?? This brings up a few scenarios:

  • "Honey, I'm taking the deadly weapon for a walk."
  • "Junior, don't forget to feed the deadly weapon before you go to school."
  • "Can I have a deadly weapon bag for the rest of my meal, please?"

I suppose certain common phrases will have to change:

  • Deadly Weapon biscuit.
  • Deadly Weapon doo.
  • Deadly Weapon paddle swimming.
  • and the worst, It's a Deadly Weapon eat Deadly Weapon world.

And some song lyrics:

  • "How much is the deadly weapon in the window?"

It's really getting out of hand, deadly weapon-gone it.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

Job Interviews and Tattoos

Thursday, March 19, 2009

A New Twist

I gotta go. The three lushes are here.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Classroom of the Future